Sylvie 45 years old - 8 years of Diane 35 - 1 meningioma
From the discovery of my brain tumor to the practice of sophrology
A few years ago, in 2017 in 2017, I had a very great emotion when out of MRI, the doctor immediately brought me to his office and, holding my hand, told me that I had an aneurysm in the brain, ready to break. Everything went very quickly, I was transferred to the emergency room, put on a pimp in a corridor, and I had to send me urgently in the evening in a large hospital in neurosurgery to operate.
An hour before I went very well, I normally lived without ever being sick, and the moment after my vital prognosis was engaged . Everyone was over around me, it was a real waking nightmare. I remember having thought very hard so, having hung up on this idea, that I did not want to die ... I was 42 years old and, like every other days, my daughter was waiting for me at the end of the school. Life too was waiting for me outside, off the walls of the hospital. I had nothing to do there, in such an environment, with such stress, a infusion on the arm while I felt in great shape. Why me? I thought, as absurd as it may seem in such a situation, and it is literally a thought that "came to me" without my awareness, without having provoked it, or looking for, that sophrology could help me. I hung on to this idea, that sophrology was a rescue outcome. I felt it very strongly at that time, with the infusion on the arm, in this emergency corridor, facing an old gentleman who was dying in a stretcher, right next to me. I strongly felt the vital force, this need to live, and this need to find resources necessary to face what awaited me.
Chance made that, fortunately or unfortunately for me, I did not undergo the end of urgent intervention that day , for stupidly administrative reasons and not in connection with my state. So I was sent home with any instruction not to "increase my blood pressure and stay calm"! I insist on these details, because they are important I believe in my desire to discover sophrology. I stayed 3 weeks in a total blur , because, still for administrative reasons, my file seemed to have been lost in the hospital and I felt completely abandoned. Nobody was no longer able to tell me what to do and how to do. In reality, I discovered it later, there was an error in file switching and apparently, since my vital prognosis was engaged and that I was left to go home, nobody wanted to take responsibility for this error and this forgetting ... In the meantime, my problem was above all to live with a "bomb" in the head and this instruction, absurd, to make my blood pressure ride. How to stay calm in such a situation? I felt completely helpless ...
Having no tools, no medical help, so I focused, almost every moment, on my breathing, inspires it, expires it. It was the only thing that calmed me, made me fully live the present moment, without being overwhelmed by anxiety. I lived with this permanent anxiety of dying, at any time of the day and night ... I imagined that I was no longer there in the next 5 minutes and even sleeping was a terrifying experience for me, not knowing if I was going to wake up. It was at this time that I also made an appointment with a sophrologist, and the only moments of "relaxation" when I was not caught up in the anxiety of imminent death, it was the moments when I was in a sophrology session. I thank her for her precious help in this terrible moment of my existence.
Finally, after 3 weeks, I was received by a neurosurgeon to consider an intervention by my aneurysm. There too, it was a trying experience because the neurosurgeon quickly understood that there had been a diagnostic error, the form of my aneurysm was, according to him, "bizarre". He repeated that "it's weird" looking at my shots, without seeing that I gradually decomposed sitting just opposite, because it was my brain that he was speaking ... An aneurysm, was it not hard enough to take? If in addition, he was weird, I literally felt the world collapsed a little more every second under my feet. It was therefore I who ended up asking him the question since he was doing nothing other than frowning in the face of MRI shots. I timidly asked "But how is it weird please?" And there, his response, laconic, brutal: " It is not an aneurysm, it is a brain tumor ". At the time, despite the horror of this news, I just felt, as improbable as it seems, relieved! I was not going to die at this precise moment. Back up the anxiety of imminent death for some time. Perhaps it is an absurd reaction, and certainly rare, but that is what I felt when the brain tumor announces: an immense relief!
Obviously, the reality quickly caught up with me ... Having a tumor placed in this place, behind my right eye, is far from being good news, even if I am lucky: it would seem, despite that it cannot be certain, that it is not cancerous since it is a specific tumor of meninges (meningioma). But it takes up space and is slowly scalable ... An operation is very risky, which is why, in the absence of symptoms, we will not do anything, except to wait for the symptoms to appear. And monitor its evolution regularly. Possible symptoms to be monitored: risk of epilepsy, partial paralysis, language disorders, loss of concentration, headaches, loss of sight ... Nothing very happy than living while waiting for this kind of symptoms that can arise at any time.
Again, the only instructions given, without any other accompaniment or support: to wait and remain calm . Almost impossible to do in view of the situation ... but still good news in this chaos: I can increase my blood pressure without danger ...! In reality, I can positivate, I can live almost normally, as someone who ignores having a huge concern for health and who does not yet have physical manifestations in his body. I can choose to "pretend that it does not exist". Live in a denial. Get angry. Ask me why me. Cry. I can do all these things. Or decide to become aware of reality and accept to experience what happens as best as possible. In conscience and with tools to do it and no longer feel so helpless. In a word, I can decide to practice sophrology. I can even go beyond, as long as I feel fit and alive, and decide to train to help and transmit this tool to others, those who feel as helpless as I am. And this is exactly what I decided to do by registering to follow a long training to become a sophrologist in a Caycedian sophrology school. This is the context of how I came to sophrology, or more exactly how sophrology came to me.
The purpose of sophrology, when this tool is well used by professionals, is to improve the quality of life: better sleep, reduction in stress, relaxation ... The practice of this mild therapeutic model and the adaptation of sophrological techniques to my specific case have really improved my ability to deal with events and prepare for any present or to come. The sophrologist accompanies the person by lowering his level of consciousness to a state close to sleep, thanks to precise protocols, guiding them with his voice and specific exercises of breathing or body sensations. It is in no way a "magic" practice that would solve all the problems, but it can greatly improve life comfort by giving precious tools to fight against stress, reduce physical and psychological pain. It can make it possible to better experience an anxiety -provoking examination as an MRI can be, or hospitalization for surgery or radiotherapy. In the case of patients with brain pathologies, sophrology can be of great support , alone or in reinforcement with suitable psychological support. Sophrology can help us have confidence in our capacities and the future, which, in our case, is a precious ally for healing and better living.
Sylvie 45 years old - 8 years of Diane 35 - 1 meningioma
Other testimonies here: Amavea testimonies
