My general practitioner was frightened, he said "damn ... damn ... whore", looking at my shots, upset. The word “damn” has several senses, too ...

He never said a single word in 15 years. He tried to reassure me, telling me that we were going to see the best, and that it was "Benin, a word that you will have trouble hearing". My gynecologist, he said to me, "he is extremely poorly placed, but I will send you to a magician, if someone has to operate, alone will do so, I entrust to him". He then told me about a clever case that Professor Froelich, whom he knows well, because he comes from Strasbourg, had saved. He showed me another tumor, benign, explaining to me that she was much larger than mine, but much better placed. He then told me that I had to remember, despite the chaos, the word “Benin”.

Professor Froelich, after listening to me, reminded that it was very poorly placed because I was risking a stroke, and that it was not necessary to wait, because began to get dangerously closer to areas which would have been fatal to me, and which, in all cases, would have made me blind.

All used this term by positioning it in a very specific, benevolent and reassuring context.

I then read the testimonies of victims, which were not treated like me, with either a denial, contempt or with irony.

I remember in particular a person to whom we had asked if they were left -handed or right -handed, because if they "loupe", she was going to lose the use of her hand.

I remember this woman well, to whom we screwed up life, her “woman life”, because she had taken Androcur, since adolescence, and who, when she read, realized, at over 40, crying, that she had never had libido, of intimate life, she who dreamed one day of having children, a husband, etc. I cried while reading it. “I was stolen my life”, sense of the term “flight”.

I had MPs, a person about to divorce, because sexually, total desert, and we all know that Libido does not mean that sexuality, but self -esteem, and at all levels of his life. When you see your friends have girlfriends, then guys/girls, husbands/women, those who make children ...

I only knew a brief passage of zero libido, I who am the replica of the Marquise de Merteuil, in 21st century version, and less cruel ????.

No problem, therefore, for me, but for so many women who have wondered, without ever understanding, yes.

We will not talk about those to whom it caused depression, or led to a suicide, like this mother who spoke of her daughter, dead, of a malaise that gnawed at her, and whose link with Androcur speaks to her a little more with the news.

I sobbed, even, and I was in rage to read the testimonies of this husband, who regularly posts, on his adored wife, who had more than 7 interventions, and whose skull is not closed, which has epilepsy crises, which has difficulty speaking, which can no longer work, while his work was his passion. I read the testimony of a woman, disabled, who could no longer carry her little child, her son who was to come and down the trash, her bread that she could no longer cut ...

I have read the sufferings, the pathologies against which others fight in parallel, in addition to these tumors. Me, I am diabetic, because the endocrino who will end up one day by paying me, followed me badly. I was betrayed, by the medical profession, I trusted. I hate her. If I were to kill a person in the world, of cold blood, it would be her. And I already know on what music, on the journey, how, and what good it would do to me. She has screwed up a part of my life, but she will not have the rest. I intend to laugh, enjoy, all the pleasures of life, and apply to me what I have been doing for a long time "you want, do it".

Me, I can, I was not operated on, and Professor Froelich addressed me to a former colleague (I blessed the day I met him, it changed the course of my life and gave me confidence in certain doctors. Take 2 reviews if you can !!). My treatment went wonderfully, my entourage, my friend, was exemplary (exemplary, is this word? Someone who loves you must be there, if not, what is love?), My friends were as perfect as I imagined; We watch over each other like a pack of wolves between us. My colleagues were top, my superiors were benevolent. Occupational medicine has taken charge of me, and followed, regularly ensuring my physical and psychological state.

Despite this, I know, and I do not think, and I am angry, not only to my apple, I cannot think about it other than through all these victims, because we are and we never have to be ashamed, victims.

 

Those of which half, man or woman, are left, those whose friends have been resigned, those who have lost their jobs, those who have lost their sight, who make epilepsy attacks, those who are in pain, every day of their lives, those for who to move have become a nightmare, those who live alone, little or not surrounded, with a dependent mother, those who have their children, Those who play comedy, so as not to lose a semblance of normality, not to be rejected, those who do not even have, despite medical follow -up, had the chance to have a doctor who did not take them as larvae, fearful, darling, steep, numbers ...

I also think of all those who now undergo their pathologies or hormonal disruption with full force, those which (and sorry not to quote in my long tirade, all cases) suffer from their endometriosis, suffer from other tumors or dirt, caused by drugs, those which are now hirsuts, and feel bad, those which have acne, more hair, or fatty hair as possible, Returns according to women, when you stop taking a poison, then, leave or double. Some make this choice, especially those who would like to have a child, knowing that behind, their tumor may increase, or those also who will not have children, in view of the risks ...

We all understand, the difference between Malin and Benin, but the first that launched the unpopularity of this term is Buzyn, who chose to deny our suffering, saying, I quote: "It is not cancer. It is not a health scandal ”. She was already preparing for the suite, and she knew very well the importance of words/ rhetoric is one thing, respect is sometimes another. What an affront to want to muzzle, minimize, any attempt to reply later ...

Obviously, there is worse, there is clever, ... There is always worse, and better, or just "nothing".
Yes, it is necessary to put it into perspective, when we can, we must not, in fact, sink, and leave these meningiomas more room than they deserve, but we must not compare ourselves, excessively, because it is also a question of recalling that in the fields of possibilities, there is a whole range of cruel consequences of which I evoke some occurrences above, and our suffering is what it is, the context, as the case is. The entourage and the evolution, of our care, of our private and professional life, of all the anxieties generated, too, which make that we can never forget this episode of our life.

Some will live it very well and integrate it and then assimilate it completely, others, with more harm, but what about victims whose life has been altered forever?

And even if we all, we just wanted to heal in the end, and to have wanted to take care of ourselves, aesthetically - because patriarchal society will judge until the end of her era that I would like, a woman who has hairs, a woman with sparse hair, a woman who has box, who has pimples, a woman who has no libido, and so on - or "by medical necessity".

For all these good reasons, in no case, we will never judge you here on your feelings, on the jargon you use, because it would once again despise you, for what you are, victims.

 

Victim is not a term that means that we are condemned to live with this burden, and what matters is to communicate on his experience, to be able to have an ear to listening, who do not judge you, like some doctors, or close who "are", and so on.

You have freedom of speech, the freedom to not accept the term "benign", in a context other than the clinical definition of your type of tumor, because we cannot, between us, tell us that a good patient, it is the one that accepts that this is "Benin", in the plethora of possible terms and its more or less judicious occurrences or, in contrast, abusive and shameful.

Never discriminate your feelings, the words you use, we do not have the right to force you to accept what is unacceptable, at so many levels, and according to the sensitivities and the history of each, "Benin" (except for the definition of the type of tumor) may not suit a single second, and it is not tolerable, by empathy, but above all, to invite you to live Live, describe and want to express it here, whether it is clear.

No one is in your place, we have the same “word” of common tumor, and sometimes, it is the one and only thing that binds us. Sometimes we look alike, sometimes we are perfect opposite, but one thing is certain, no one can feel your story as you experience it. It is therefore normal and completely logical to express it with the words that will be the most adequate, and yes, the term "benign", can revolt, and that, starting from the principle that I am not you, and you, not me, we can have differences in perception, it is called having an opinion, and thank God, everyone is free from his, that is also the way to exorcise what happens to us. Simply.

I conclude this tirade by inviting anyone again to feel the need to communicate on their experience, to do so, to ask us all your questions, to share with us your story. The principle of an association of victims is first of all, listening, and empathy, moreover when you have a president, Emmanuelle, little of which know the suffering on a daily basis, and its tenacity despite the tests.

 

A person fights for all of us and we will fight with them, all good will being welcome, each, if only by bringing this Facebook group to life, can help with their “small level”, and there, I use a term which you will understand the perfectly useful and not minimal aspect! ????